THE STEP BEFORE CREATION

All day yesterday, after writing the post, I was looking at how I make decisions – how I create my world. I am doing fine, sure, but I want more. Then I realized that I am really good at thinking, figuring things out – really good at that. But doing? Actually moving – creating? I used to always be so busy when I was younger and I enjoy my slightly slower pace of middle-age but I realize that I am slowing down also in negative ways: I procrastinate. I am fully aware of this and it angers me, still I find the “excuses”. Strange, since I have such drive and so much I want to accomplish – all of it effortless… – and then I realized; I am punishing myself; I am afraid of success – true success, not just existing-success. I sabotage myself by procrastinating, and I am not alone in doing this.

Creation is divine and all-powerful – yes. But we might have more work to do with ourselves before we can reach that point. If we are not reaching our goals and dreams. If we are not fulfilling our ambitions and life-paths…then what? How do we find our way to the purest sense of direction from within? It’s obviously not enough to want it, something else is missing:

There is a step before creation and that is clearing ourselves from negative programming, ideas, limits and fears. There are many ways of doing this: Meditating, writing, working with a trusted person or therapist…

This is what I am doing today: I peel myself, I go through layer of layer until I find the core of my problem and then it will allow itself to be solved. Bringing light in the darkness of my negative core will enlight me, of this I am sure. The starting question for today is: Why am I sabotaging for myself?

Are you having questions to yourself? Please share any experiences you have.