When I was in my early 20′s I met a person who introduced me to Chinese philosophy; I learned T’ai chi and how to use the I Ching. I read the “Tao te ching” by Lao Tze – over and over again in my efforts to understand the meaning behind the words. I could grasp that I was on to something bigger than I had hitherto known, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it – make it my own. I copied the book, by hand, into a note-book that still is with me, 26 years later. I have since that time studied Chinese philosophy and healing as part of my profession. During these years I had a yearning to actively live the Tao, but I didn’t know how until, 9 months ago, I realized that the time had come.
Preparation: The thought to live the Tao has been with me all the time; I tried to figure out how to do it and finally decided that this is not possible – actually, it is the total denial of Tao – so I allowed it to happen, trusting that I would know when the time was right. During these months I have studied different translations of the Tao, I have come across books and websites of people who have actively lived the Tao. But nowhere did I find myself; the ordinary person in an ordinary life. I believe the Tao is a way of living every kind of life – not just a “holy” life. The people I have studied that lived the Tao all took time off and went into retreat to really get into things. I can’t do that, I will live the Tao in my every-day life which is far from easy at the moment:
- Single mother with one teenage child at home and 3 more scattered through Europe.
- Recently arrived in a new country with no guarantees; creating a new life.
- Learning to exist with 2 new, foreign languages and learning them quickly!
- Starting up a business.
- No economy at all and no job, but I have a house and a car.
- Tomorrow I will be 49 years old.
- I am an aromatherapist.
I am like everybody else; I have worries and fears, I struggle to make ends meet. I support my daughter through this very tough time in her life. I worry about my newly grown children out in the world. All in all I feel like I am riding a banana-peal on a piece of ice in the middle of an ocean. Living the Tao is a challenge, it is also an enhancement of my life, learning to live in trust and peace, no matter what.