So what did it do to me, this project?

(pic by Denis Tombal)

This Tao-project took almost 2 years, a lot longer than I expected though it doesn’t feel that long. I have learned a lot during this time and my life has changed in subtle ways. To live the Tao, to really contemplate and apply it to every moment of every day has been an interesting, if not always easy, experience. Sometimes I just felt tired and fed up, wanting to stop the whole project when I saw all the verses stretching out endlessly before me but I had made a decision and I stuck with it. For this I am both proud and grateful to myself, because this is about me and my life. Sharing it was a way to ensure that I wouldn’t stop half-way (been known to do that before). It is so easy to start something on a “high”, but with time it is not as “high” anymore and we all know how easy it is to stop if we are not held accountable in some way; this blog was my accountability.

Most of the things I found during this time were already there, stuff I have been pondering and working on for many years. The difference is that Iconsciously applied my “knowledge” to every situation, taking time to understand and watching the outcome. It’s been like school.

The greatest thing I learned, or rather finally started living, is Trust. Trusting in life, which I have never done before. It doesn’t come from the head, it’s not a mental or intellectual idea. It’s feelingsafe, trusting that all will always be well. I had some very difficult times during this project and I could see myself going from fear to trust over time and it was an amazing experience the first time my whole Self gave itself over to trust.

I have experienced miracles, love and pain deeper than the ocean. There has been disbelief and outright fear. My life has changed, not dramatically, but deeply. I have let go and I have received. I have learned things that have helped others along the way and I can truly say that I am now in myself. Life is beautiful!

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One Response to So what did it do to me, this project?

  1. Susanne says:

    Dear Anna, beautiful work and a pleasure to be with you in this. Thank You!!

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